This morning, as I tried to be still before the Lord, I had an epiphany. I very rarely sit with the Lord just to be with Him. I almost always have an agenda. I want to hear from Him what I should do, or say. Or I want to know what He is going to do about a particular problem I have, and when He is going to do it. I come to Him seeking the experience of being with Him. I rarely come to Him just to be WITH Him.
Mark 3:14 says that Jesus chose the 12 to "be with Him." I love just being with my husband. I love just sitting quietly with him, or walking up the mountain with him, or lying in bed with him just listening to him breathe. There doesn't have to be an agenda.
My Father wants me to be with Him - to sit with Him without an agenda. How can I truly know Him and hear His voice if I am calling the shots? I get frustrated when I listen for an answer and He remains silent. I get frustrated when I feel that I need direction in order to stay on the straight path, and He is mum.
Maybe He doesn't want to talk about the things on my agenda. Maybe He doesn't want to tell me what to do. Maybe, just maybe, he wants to hold my hand and have me walk beside Him, listening to Him breathe, guided by the gentle nudge of His presence.
Maybe then I could hear His voice and not my own. Maybe my path would be straighter if I let Him lead.
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