When the mountains look so big...



When the mountains look so big...


 



And my faith just seems so small

 "And lead us not into temptation... "I always felt weird about asking God not to lead me into temptation. I mean, James 1:13-14 says "No one should say, 'God is tempting me.' For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone..." This phrase of the Lord's Prayer makes a lot more sense to Hebrew ears. I found this on  www.hebrew4christians.com
 
"And lead us not into Massah, but delver us from Yetzer Hara."  The word for temptation is the same word for the place in the wilderness where the children of Israel rebelled against God. It is also used in Job to mean a place of despair-a melting of the heart.  "When we petition the Father to be led not into temptation, we are essentially asking to be redirected in our heart's attitude in the face of difficult and trying moments. To fall into the hands of Massah means yielding to despair..."
 
This is God's word to me this morning. It fits with the Names of God study we are doing with students at Mars Hill University. This week's name is El Roi - the God who sees me.
 
God sees me in my place of quiet desperation. He sees how big the mountains seem to me. He sees how small my faith is. He sees me ... and has compassion. He gives me comfort and works on my behalf.
 
Have you ever been to that place of despair? To the brink of giving up, walking away - maybe even running away? This is the time to pray, "Don't let me fall into the hands of Massah! Keep me from giving up. See me, El Roi." Take me by the hand and walk with me along this straight crooked path.
 
"Hold me Jesus, cause I'm shakin' like a leaf. You have been King of my glory, won't you be my Prince of Peace." Rich Mullins
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IS2kG3ks9_g 
 

Taking a Selfie

 

 

 

 

Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.

In the Gospel of Luke, there is a story that compares the actions of an "obvious sinner" with the actions of the "obvious righteous." Luke 7:47 says, “Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven-for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little, loves little.”  It is not that this "obvious sinner" obtained forgiveness because of her love. It is that she loves because she knows she has been forgiven.

The ease with which I am able to forgive is a good mirror - or selfie - of how much I recognize that I have been forgiven. My love for God and others is directly proportional to the amount I have been forgiven. In order to have the ability to forgive others, I must first recognize how much I have been forgiven. That means I need to take a good, hard look at my own trespasses, debts, sins.

I don’t want to look at my own sin. I want to think of myself as a good person. I want to believe I have always been a good person. But in the first lines of the Lord’s Prayer, I just took a look at who God is. In comparing myself to Him, I see my trespasses clearly.

My Swedish rye bread just took Best in Show at our county fair. I can look at that accomplishment and think of myself as a great baker. But we have a tiny fair. How well would I have done against the famous French baker, Michel Galloyer? Hmm…

God I want my relationship with You to be one without guilt. I want to know your grace and mercy. I want to know we are in good standing. You are not holding the lien papers. If I am unable to forgive others, it is an indication that either I don’t think I have sinned or that I have not accepted the gift of God’s forgiveness and I am trying to repay my debt on my own.

I have been forgiven – what is owed has been given. If I recognize that, I can do the same for others.

If I want to reach the world for Jesus, what better way is there than to show forgiveness to those who don’t deserve it. In doing that, I am demonstrating the love of God.

Looking into the mirror this morning, taking a selfie, and holding the image as I walk the straight crooked path.

 

 

My Anchor Holds

This must be the week for waking up with songs in my head. This morning the lines, "When darkness seems to hide His face, I trust in His unchanging grace. Through every high and stormy gale my anchor holds within the veil."

The lines of this song come from Hebrews 6:18-19; " so that by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have taken refuge would have strong encouragement to take hold of the hope set before us. This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast and one which enters within the veil,"

In the 1st century, sailors would row to shore with their anchor and attach it securely to the rock so that unexpected storms could not move their ship. The ship might be battered and tossed in an unsettled sea, but the rock remained unchanged, secure. As long as the boat was anchored to the rock, it was safe.

Yesterday was unexpectedly difficult for me. I sat across the table from a genetic counselor for about an hour discussing family history of cancer and reliving the last month of my sister's life. The rest of the day I was emotionally spent. I felt battered and tossed.

The storms of life - especially the unexpected ones - test my faith. But I am anchored within the veil, in the holy of holies, where El is. My circumstances change; the level of my trust changes; my willingness to obey changes; but El NEVER changes.

Time to mix metaphors. When darkness seems to hide His face, when I am walking in the dark, it is impossible to know where the path lies. When a storm strikes, it is impossible to keep the boat on course. But His grace is unchanging. He is there in the dark, directing my steps. And He is there in the storm - Jesus, my anchor, holding my ship securely to El, my rock.

"Through the storm, He is Lord, Lord of all." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4UGws8RgBs

El and Stress Related Illnesses

 

 

 

 

 

I woke up yesterday and today with the song, Your Name, by Phillips, Craig and Dean in my head. Just the chorus: "Your Name, is a strong and mighty tower. Your Name, is a shelter like no other. Your Name, let the nations sing it louder cause nothing has the power to save, but Your Name."  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzviEHyIggI 

  

I can't seem to get past the second phrase of the Lord's Prayer - "May your name be made holy." And this mornings wanderings are taking me back to what that part of the prayer means in my life.

  

This has been a very tough year for me. I just took one of those life stress tests and came up with a score of 362. According to psychologists, a score of 300 or more means that there is a "high or very high risk of becoming ill in the near future."

 

The second name for God used in the Bible is simply El. I means "might, strength, power." I need El.

 

El told the apostle Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Cor. 12:9a) And Paul responded, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Cor. 12:9b-10)

 

I can make God's name holy by the way I handle my struggles. Will I be honest about my weakness? Will I talk about the struggle? Or will I hide behind a false piety, or muscle through it as though I can handle all that life throws at me on my own? Will I run to the "strong and mighty tower?" Will I rest in the "shelter like no other?"

 

If I choose to be honest about my weakness, the power of Christ will rest on me. I don't have to succumb to a stress related illness, no matter what the statistics say.

 

Today I will choose to "handle my stress" by living honestly in community with El and His people as we wander the straight crooked path together.



 

Us - Not Me

 

 

 

Give us this day our daily bread. 

 

I think until this very moment, even though I said the correct words aloud, I have translated the Lord’s Prayer very differently. In my understanding it has been: My Father in Heaven…give me this day my daily bread and forgive me my trespasses…and lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from evil…

 

But Jesus did not teach the disciples to pray that way. The prayer was Our Father…give us our daily bread…forgive our trespasses…deliver us from evil. Always Jesus is talking about community. My American mind wants to make it all about me, when it is really all about us.

 

I think that there are societal strengths and failures – things that are righteous about a society and things that are sinful. I propose that the sins most common to Americans are self-centeredness and greed. We have so much and yet are so discontent. Let me personalize that, I have so much and yet I am so discontent.

 

Most of us do not feel rich, or even well off. And yet compared to the vast majority of people in the world, we are all extremely rich. The apostle Paul said, “But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.” (1 Timothy 6:8)

 

I don’t think that means that it is wrong to provide well for family, we are commanded to do so. Look at Ruth-she didn’t just sit around and wait for manna to drop out of the sky; she worked hard gleaning in the fields. But when the pursuit of material things keeps me from growing spiritually, it is indeed sin.

 

Jesus said in Matthew 6:31-34, ^“So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

 

The key here is not to worry about it. Not to spend every waking moment thinking about how to make it happen. If a job opportunity keeps me from seeking first His kingdom, then it is not an opportunity, it is a temptation.

 

So the prayer is for us, but the application of the truth is for me.

 

Today, as I wander the straight crooked path, I will pray for daily bread for myself and others. And I will pray that we will be content.

An artist-me?





 



This morning I set a timer for five minutes and practiced being still before God, and that five minutes changed the direction of this morning’s blog.

 

 I found myself in the creation story, meditating on the first name God gives Himself – Elohim – Mighty Creator. Elohim is plural, one being, but more than one person. He is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

 

 As I read the creation account, I didn’t focus on the effect of God’s actions, but rather on Elohim’s actions, and I imagined the creative dynamic going on within Himself.

 

As I read, I substituted the words Mighty Creator for the word God, and before long, I had a beautiful, heart-racing notion of God. There He was, the artist at the canvass, the sculptor with his clay, the inventor in His lab. God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit joyfully collaborating in creation, excited about what they were calling into being.

 

The Father imagines each day’s creative action, He speaks it. The Son makes it happen. They sit back and evaluate and admire their work and the Holy Spirit says, “It is good.” I imagine them laughing, playing, joking with each other as they create. I can feel the love they have for each other and for the world they are creating.

  

 Elohim is an artist.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZHRpi4z7zk

 

 As I read, I began to substitute the phrase “MY mighty creator” for the word God, and I became more excited still. The image grew. Elohim was on a roll. Each evening He would say, “What shall we do today. I can hardly wait to get started. This is going to be great.”

 

 Oh, and then the glory of it! Elohim says “Let us make man in our own image…So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” Gen 1:26-27

 

He is Elohim – mighty creator – and He has made us in His image. I am an artist. You are an artist. We have the power to create, the power to imagine what is not and make it so.

 

What will I create today? What will I see with my mind’s eye that I will work on so that at the end of the day I can say, “It is good”?

 

Wandering with Elohim today along the straight crooked path.

Sure, nice taking with you, too!



 

“May Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”
 

Don’t you hate it when you are with someone and they never let you get a word in edgewise? They ask you a question and then go on to tell you what they think. That one thought leads to another, and ten minutes later they take a breath and say, “Got to run. Great talking with you!”
 

Talking WITH me? More like talking AT me.
 

When someone says to me, “I don’t know how to pray,” I say, “Prayer is a conversation. Just talk to God the way you talk with a friend.” If I look at my prayers, I realize that they more often than not resemble the dynamic I described above. I can imagine God standing there as I rush off, mumbling, “Sure, nice talking with you, too.”
 

I may pray, ”May your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” But I rarely ask, “What is your will today?” And even more rarely do I close my mouth and let God answer. I am too busy telling God what my will is and asking Him to make my will happen.
 

God is polite and patient. He doesn’t put His hand over my mouth and get in my face and say, “Now shut up and listen if you really want to know!”
 

If I am honest, I am more interested in God’s will for the big picture – the world, my country, my friends and family, my purpose in life – and much less interested in His daily will for my life - unless, of course, it happens to line up completely with my will.
 

But how would I even know when I don’t pause long enough to hear?
 

Today I will choose to shut my mouth and listen as I wander the straight crooked path.

What kind of kingdom?

Psychologists confirm what we already understood. Watching the news is more likely to make you sadder and more anxious, and more likely to make you amplify your own troubles. Every hour of every day we see the effects of our kingdom and we long for something better.

Jesus taught us to pray,”May Your kingdom come.”  What kingdom is that? What would the disciples have understood?

To do that, we have to go back to the time of the judges in Israel. The people came to Samuel demanding a king like the other nations, and God’s response to Samuel was, “Listen to all that the people are saying to you; it is not you they have rejected, but they have rejected me as their king.” (I Samuel 8:7)

Five hundred years later Israel finds herself captive in Babylon, and Daniel makes many prophesies about a coming kingdom. Dan 2:44 promises the end of all earthly kingdoms and the establishment the kingdom of heaven that will never end. Daniel calls the One with authority in this kingdom the son of man. (Dan 7:13-14)

The prophet Isaiah calls this ruler the Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6) and describes His kingdom as a kingdom of true justice and of peace. “He will not judge by what he sees with his eyes, or decide by what he hears with his ears; but with righteousness he will judge the needy, with justice he will give decisions for the poor of the earth.” (Isaiah 11:3-4) “They shall beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks; nation shall not lift the sword against nation, neither shall they learn war anymore. (Isaiah 2:4)  ^“The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together…and the lion will eat straw like the ox… They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain, for the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the Lord as the waters cover the sea.” (Isaiah 11:6-9) 

Into this background walks Jesus, whose favorite name for Himself was “the son of man,” calling people to repent because the kingdom of God was near. (Matt 3:2) Thirty-two times in the Gospel of Luke Jesus talks about the kingdom of God. He sent the disciples out to proclaim the Kingdom of God. They had to put feet to their prayers.

I confess that many of the parables Jesus taught about the kingdom of God leave me both mystified and awed. Probably most significant to me is Jesus’ answer to the Pharisees when they asked when the kingdom would come. They were looking for a physical kingdom – rescue from the tyranny of Rome - and Jesus told them that the coming of the kingdom can’t be observed, but that “the kingdom of God is within you.” (Luke 17:20-21)

I look at the world around me and I long for the peaceful kingdom of God. I think most of us do. But we – I - often go about trying to make the kingdom come in the same manner as the Pharisees. They were looking for a political or military answer. Way back in the book of Samuel, God made it clear that His kingdom was not like the other nations. He is our King.

How did Jesus usher in the kingdom? He forgave, He healed, He served, He reached out to the outcast. He fought evil with the most powerful of weapons – love.

Jesus told Pilot, “My kingdom is not of this world.”(John 18:36) He certainly did not behave as any earthly king would have. “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them…But I am among you as one who serves. (Luke 22:25-27)
 

When I name the name of Jesus, when I declare Him to be my king, I am choosing to live by the values of the Kingdom of God. I am choosing to forgive, to heal, to serve. I am choosing to overcome evil with good.
 

 I am so grateful to be included in His kingdom. “For he has rescued us (me) from the dominion of darkness and brought us (me) into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.” (Col. 1:13-14) I can show my allegiance by living as Jesus lived.

And so LORD, let your kingdom come within me.

“Look what Mercy’s overcome; Death has lost and Love has won.” Natalie Grant, “Alive”  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ap2vrLCU85w

Choosing to bring the kingdom to my crooked straight path...

God's Name is Not Howard

 

 

Matthew 6:9 "may your name always be kept holy" NCV 

 

I like this version of the Lord's prayer much better than the KJV "hallowed be thy name." In my off-the-wall moments that phrase has brought to mind Halloween or the joke about the little boy who prayed, "Our Father who does art in heaven. Howard be thy name."

This part of the Lord’s Prayer parallels the third of the Ten Commandments, “You shall not take the Lord your God’s name in vain.” Keeping God’s name holy is the opposite of taking His name in vain.

We are doing a Bible study this year on the names of God. He has given Himself many names with many meanings: Mighty Creator; God of power and might; I AM, self-existent One; God Almighty; The God who sees me; Everlasting or Eternal God; Most High God; Lord and Master, The Lord will Provide; The Lord Heals; The Lord our Banner-Conqueror, Victor; The Lord is Peace; The Lord of Hosts-Commander of all the Armies of Heaven; The Lord is my Shepherd; The Lord is my Righteousness; The Lord is There; The Lord Who Sanctifies- makes Holy. And that is just the Old Testament list.

I call myself a Christian-a little Christ. I carry God’s name. When the world looks at me, are they getting an accurate picture of God? The hallowing, or making holy, of God’s name is done by how I live my life. Micah 6:8 says "He has showed you, O man what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."   

I am reminded of a Twaila Paris song, Could You Believe. ”Could you believe if I was really like Him, If I lived all the words that I said, If it was clear that I held in my heart what I know in my head.”

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdOxjuSDuH4

Do I live a life of faith and love? I fall so short. I am grateful that He is Yahweh Tsidkenu, the Lord my righteousness, and Yahweh Mekadesh, the Lord who makes holy.

I am grateful that He is Yahweh Shammah, The Lord is There, and that He walks the straight crooked path with me.

Does Our Father in Heaven Play Favorites? - part two

Does “our Father in heaven” play favorites?

I don’t know if this is a question that “favored children” ask. I do know that it is a question I have asked regularly. It sits right next to the question, “Do you love her/him more than you love me?”

I used to feel like a favored child. And when I did I sat in the judgment seat of the Pharisees. I was convinced that when something bad happened in someone’s life it was because of that person’s foolishness or sin. If a husband left his wife, or vice versa, it was because she or he was not living according to the pattern given in Ephesians 5. If a child was wayward, it was because the parent was too lenient – or too legalistic. If a person was homeless, it was because they were financially irresponsible. You name the situation; I had a reason for it. 

I would never say those things out loud. On the outside I would be sympathetic and compassionate. And I always was ready with a Bible verse or piece of advice. Then God, in His mercy, allowed me to wander through some very dark valleys. Valleys not of my own making – at least not all of them. He also allowed me the privilege of sitting on the other side of the judgment seat. I rarely heard the judgment, but I knew it was there. 

And so, then came the questions.  

I imagine Joseph must have asked those questions as he sat in prison. Moses must have asked those questions as he wandered through the desert. David must have asked those questions as he hid from Saul. Elijah must have asked those questions as he ran from Jezebel.  

I know that these men were approved of by God. They were each commended for their faith and good works. But each of them spent a lot of time drowning in excrement.  

If you look at the word excrement in the thesaurus, you find a couple of interesting synonyms – compost and fertilizer - words familiar to any gardener. Any gardener can tell you that not all plants need the same type of fertilizer. Some need alkaline, some acidic and some neutral to have the optimum effect.  

So I think it is with people. Different “crappy” situations produce different amounts of growth in different types of people.  

Our Father in heaven is a master gardener. He knows what weeds need to be pulled out and what branches need to be pruned. He knows that what I need in my life is not the same as what you need in your life.  

Does the Father love His son, Jesus? Without a doubt. But when I look at Jesus’ life and death, it doesn’t look like the love of an all-powerful Father to me. Even Jesus cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” 

Could God treat all of us the same? Could God prevent some of the hardships in my life? Yes, He could.  

Why doesn’t He? The ultimate answer for me is, because He loves me too much, even if it doesn’t look or feel like love to me. Regardless of how I feel, I am a favored child.

Wishing I didn’t need quite so much fertilizer as I walk this straight crooked path.

Does Our Father in Heaven Play Favorites? - part 1



 

Yesterday I began looking at the first phrase of the Lord’s Prayer – our Father in heaven. The look was very academic. I love academia. It is safe. It is neat. It is also very fake – like airbrushed supermodels and those plastic dessert samples that they wheel around in restaurants so you can choose the perfect end to your perfect meal.

The ideas shared in yesterday’s look at “our Father in heaven” were true. And what I am going to add today does not make them any less true. But most of us do not live within the neat confines of academia; we live in the messy openness of reality. A reality where parents abandon their children; sisters die of cancer; husbands (or wives) cheat on their wives (or husbands); companies go bankrupt taking their employees down with them; earthquakes crush the innocent; children die of hunger…Meanwhile evil-doers prosper; and it looks like our heavenly Father either isn’t paying attention, doesn’t care, or really isn’t so omnipotent after all.  

How does it feel when the prayers of some Christian get quick “yes” answers? Their children all walk with the Lord, have great jobs, wonderful marriages and brilliant, beautiful babies. They or a loved one has cancer; they pray and God miraculously heals. They need a car or home or - fill in the blank, and God shows up to meet their every need – and most of their desires. Meanwhile other Christians cry in despair as they watch their children wander, or struggle with disabilities, loneliness, or barrenness. They pray for healing and God does not intervene. They look at their brothers and sisters in Christ and they are convinced that God plays favorites.

I have friends who appear to be God’s favored child and friends who appear to be the ugly step-child. I have sat with the ”favored children” as they shared some recent answer to prayer and heard them lament that they can’t share these things with some people. I have also sat with the “ugly step-children” as they shared their recent unanswered prayer and I identified with them in their struggle to believe that they are indeed loved.

Does “our Father in heaven” play favorites? That is this morning’s the billion dollar question. It is a scary, messy question. This question does not belong in academia. It belongs in the realm of my wanderings.

Will you wander with me tomorrow morning along this straight crooked path?

 

Our Father in heaven...

I recently finished a book by Brian McLaren, Naked Spirituality. And while some may call him a heretic, I found his book to be quite refreshing in its honesty about the way this walk with Jesus really is. One of the things McLaren does is challenge the reader to see the gospel through the eyes of the disciples, in the context of 30th to 40th century Israel. I felt challenged to reexamine the gospel, as much as possible, in this light.

And so, when I read, “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up and went out to a solitary place where He prayed.” (Mark 1:35), I wanted to look at the pattern of Jesus’ prayers. His disciples wanted to know this very same thing. “Teach us to pray.” And Jesus responded with words that a great many people, regardless of their faith, or lack thereof, can recite by heart.

How would Jewish ears have heard these words?

“Our father, who is in heaven…” First of all, God is our Father. My prayers are not prayers of isolation, but of community. This community includes all who have come before me, my contemporaries, all who will come after me, and Jesus Himself. I am part of a family.

The word Father again emphasizes this notion of family. What is (or should be) the role of Father? He is the protector, the provider, the lover, the glue that holds the family together through good times and bad. He knows his children, challenges them to grow, corrects them when they wander, cheers them on to do great things, and cherishes them beyond measure. A father lays down his life daily for his children.

But I am not praying to my father on earth, but rather our Father in heaven. When Solomon built the temple for the LORD he prayed,” But will God really dwell on earth? The heavens, even the highest heaven, cannot contain you. How much less this temple I have built!” (I Kings 8:27) Our God is the creator. He is the King of kings. He is all the omni’s: omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent… “Our God is a consuming fire.” (Deut. 4:24 and Heb. 12:29)

Our God is both totally apart – holy (Rev 4:8-11), and He is “an ever present help in time of trouble” (Psalm 46:1). He is my loving Father who knows every part of me, and cares for my every need AND He is LORD of all.

 

As I walk the straight crooked path, I am humbled in knowing that the LORD of all still knows my name and hears me when I call.

 

Thanks for walking with me this morning.

 

Choosing to Walk by Faith

God has promised to direct our paths. He has promised that our path will be straight. He has promised that the way of the righteous is smooth. I believe His promises. But...
 
Most of the time, I think my path more closely resembles the path of my creek - with branches blocking the way, somewhat muddy, twisting and turning, always changing.
 
I want to see the path. I want to know where I am going - and when. Often I envy those who have it all figured out. I thought I did once.
 
Now I am choosing to walk by faith, not by sight. It is not always fun. It is not always easy. It is often very scary. But it is an adventure.
 
Will you come walk with me? Will you grapple with the hard things with me?
 
Meet me here in the mornings. I will be walking the straight crooked path.