The Cancer of Sin

I received good news last week. I do not carry the gene mutation that predisposed my sister to the cancer that took her life. My mother, my other sister and her daughter all carry that gene mutation. Pretty scary knowing that a time bomb is ticking away that may or may not go off.

I didn’t inherit that cancer-causing gene, but I inherited a worse gene mutation, and there is a 100% chance that my children and grandchildren have also inherited that mutation. It is the gene that predisposes me to sin. And this mutation is more deadly than any other.

Jesus healed the sick, but that was not why He came. He came to preach the good news of the kingdom of God. He came to call people to repent – of things that most of us consider sin - and to repent of religion.

After Jesus healed Peter’s mother-in-law, crowds of people came to Him to be healed. And He healed them. But the next morning He went off to pray, and the Father said it was time to move on. He told the disciples, “Let us go somewhere else…so I can preach there also. That is why I have come.” (Mark 1:38) But wherever He went, there were people clamoring to be healed. He always asked those He healed to keep it to themselves, but they couldn’t, and so the crowds followed Jesus everywhere.

And so in Mark 2, Jesus is again surrounded by people as he is teaching in a home. Here, four men bring their paralytic friend to Jesus. They cannot get through the crowd, and so they dig through the roof and lower their friend right in front of Jesus, interrupting His sermon. What is it that Jesus does when He sees their faith? Does He heal the man straight away? No, instead He speaks to the man about his sin issue. I imagine that Jesus was teaching about the good news of the kingdom and about sin. The four men have presented Jesus with a great sermon illustration. Jesus calls the man, son, and declares that his sins are forgiven.

It is not until the teachers of the law begin to mutter, that Jesus addresses the man’s physical condition. And He does so to demonstrate that He has the power and authority to forgive on the basis of faith alone.

Sin is like cancer – it lies dormant, unseen, deadly. Some sins are quick killers – the obvious ones –abuse, murder, drunkenness, robbery. Some are slow killers – the acceptable ones – gluttony, anger, lust. And some are silent, unknown to others – greed, envy, pride, self-righteousness. But all of them are deadly. All of them eat away at the person that God intends me to be.

We all carry the gene mutation for sin. We all need a doctor. The murderer, the glutton and the self-righteous person are all the same. I received good news from the genetic center last week, but there is better news still. And the very good news is, rescue has come, simply believe.

A Leper, My Sister, and Brittany Maynard

 

 

Brittany Maynard has decided that she wants the option to “die with dignity” on November 1^st.  After witnessing my sister, Vanessa’s, year long battle with pancreatic cancer, I can totally understand her decision.

 But, Vanessa did not want that option. She wanted to fight and win. She wanted to seek a miracle. She wanted to live for her husband and her children and her grandchildren.

Vanessa was so much braver than me. She had the option of medication that would keep her from feeling anything, but she chose to use less pain medication so that she could be alert enough to spend time with us. We would cry and she would apologize for making us feel bad. Even to the end she was always thinking of others.

I was amazed at the hospice nurses and aides who chose every day to place themselves in suffering’s path. I asked my sister’s nurse why she chose this aspect of nursing, and her answer astounded me. She said that there was nothing more precious than spending time with people as they passed from this life to the next. That she sensed God’s presence in the middle of it all and that she had the privilege of helping people make that transition.

I know that Jesus walked with us through this past year – particularly the month of June. We could not understand the last week of Vanessa’s life. How could her heart and lungs go on when the cancer had taken so much? How could she endure?  How could we endure watching her leave us a little more every day?

Jesus totally gets it. He knows her pain. He carried her pain. He knows our pain. He carried our pain. He still carries our pain.

The leper in Mark 1 came to Jesus and said, “If you are willing, you can make me clean.” Jesus was willing. He could have just spoken the words and the leper would have been made clean. But He did much more than s.peak He entered into the man’s suffering by touching him. He identified with the man’s pain, and by touching him, he showed the man how valuable he was to God even in his miserable condition.

I don’t know why God said “no” to our prayers for my sister to have more time on this earth. I don’t know why she had to suffer as she did. And truth be told, I am still angry that she suffered as she did. It isn’t right; it isn’t fair. But I do know that she is now cancer-free, enjoying life that is true life, and wanting us to live our lives on this earth truly loving others.

To Brittany Maynard I would say, let Jesus carry your pain and suffering. Let Him touch you as He did the leper, as He did my sister. Isaiah 53:4 “Surely he took up or pain and bore our suffering,”

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bms0ZiM_KG0 Chris Tomlin, I Will Rise

 

 

A Grateful Leper at Your Feet

Isaiah53:4 Surely he took up our pain
    and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
    stricken by him, and afflicted. 

Mark 1:⁴⁰ And a leper came to Jesus, beseeching Him and falling on his knees before Him, and saying, “If You are willing, You can make me clean.” ⁴¹ Moved with compassion, Jesus stretched out His hand and touched him, and said to him, “I am willing; be cleansed.” ⁴² Immediately the leprosy left him and he was cleansed.

“You died for sinners just like me, a grateful leper at Your feet.” Casting Crowns, Jesus Friend of Sinners https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOiD0cREjjU

So, after many meanderings, I am back to looking at the Gospel through the eyes of the disciples. I went off on the Lord’s Prayer rabbit trail after the verse, “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up and went to a solitary place where He prayed.”

Apparently, Jesus heard from the Father that it was time to move on. And so He did. To an outside observer, Jesus’ path probably did not look straight. It certainly did not look smart from the perspective of someone interested in bringing about the Kingdom of God on earth. To the disciples, a straight path would have been one that drew attention to Jesus, one that led to an earthly kingdom.

Instead of seeking crowds and acclaim for His miracles, instead of seeking out those who could catapult Him onto a throne, Jesus sought out individuals, those who were shunned by society, and He asked them to keep it on the down low. His path led Him to the ultimate outcast, the leper. Jesus is El Roi, the God who sees me. He is Ishmael, the God who hears me.

In my mind’s eye, I imagine the leper approaching Jesus and everyone scattering the way we would if someone with ebola entered our space.  http://www.thisis50.com/profiles/blogs/ebola-virus-ravaging-west-africa-539-deaths-reported-counting?xg_source=activity  Jesus did not run away; He did not tell the man he was stricken by God, unworthy of grace. He saw past the disfiguration; He heard the man’s plea; He understood the man’s loneliness.

Jesus was a man of sorrows. He was acquainted with grief. He knew what it was to be disfigured, an outcast, lonely. Jesus was moved with compassion. He didn’t just feel sorry for this man, He did something about it. He touched the untouchable.

Oh, God, help me to see past my own sorrow, my own needs. Help me to reach out with compassion to one person at a time. Help me to see past the ugliness to the hurting person. Help me to hear the cries for help and be willing to do something about it. Keep me from trying to protect myself from pain. Bring me alongside the hurting as You lead me on this straight crooked path.

“I'm falling at Your feet, Ruined by Your majesty, My life, my everything, Are crumbled on the ground before You” Among Thorns, Falling at Your Feet   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OD36dsYQ4ZQ

 

WAR, good god ya'll

 

 

Psalm 48

⁶ Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

⁷ The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

⁸ Come and see what the Lord has done,
    the desolations he has brought on the earth.
⁹ He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth.

He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields with fire.
¹⁰ He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

In our homeschool, we have been studying the Aztec, Maya, and Inca civilizations. These nations were successful politically because their brutality stuck terror in the hearts of their enemies. Many towns surrendered without a fight because of the reputation of the Aztec, Maya, and Inca.

This is no different than Babylon, Rome, Hitler’s Nazis, and now ISIS. I imagine the men and women who fought in Iraq are shaking their heads as they watch Baghdad taken by ISIS, wondering why. What good was it?

 

There is coming a day when there will be no more war. El Shaddai, the promise keeper, has promised that the wolf will live with the lamb. Isaiah 11:6 He has promised that swords will be beaten into plowshares. Nation will not take up sword against nation, not will they train for war anymore. Isaiah 2:4 In the meantime, what should my response be? How can I join with the Prince of Peace to bring about peace on earth?

 

I cannot stop ISIS, but I can pray for my enemies. I can love those who do not love. And I can pray that as a nation, we see our own arrogance, our own heart bent on destruction. Finally, I can pray that I will see my own heart. Do I have a heart inclined toward peace, or toward conflict? Is my heart open to invasion by the Prince of Peace?

Who will join me on this straight crooked path, praying that the Prince of Peace will invade the hearts of those who are bent on destruction, including our own?

“Peace, love, and understanding, tell me.

Is there no place for them today?” –Edwin Starr, War

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJOLH8WfCaY

 

 

 

 

 

Living Water

A place of refuge

but be careful!

 

 

I made a discovery this morning that got me so excited I knocked my coffee off the table and had to spend the next 10 minutes getting it off of the couch and floor.

 

 

Psalm 46

For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. According to alamoth. A song.

¹ God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
² Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
³ though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.

⁴ There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
⁵ God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.

 

Psalm 46:1-3 speaks of our Creator as the ever present help in time of trouble. It speaks of not being afraid even in the middle of disaster.

Verses 4 and 5 tell me why I don’t have to be afraid, instead I can be glad. “There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the Holy dwelling places of the Most High.  God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.”

The image is of Eden, the rivers of life that flowed through the garden - but it is also the image of the Holy Spirit, the river of life flowing through me.

Jesus said, in John 7:38-39, “’Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.’ By this he meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were later to receive.”

Here comes the really exciting part – the knock your coffee off the table part. The dwelling place of God on earth is in me! I am the holy place where Elyon – the Most High God, the King of kings and Lord of lords - dwells. Mighty Creator is within me, I will not fall; Mighty Creator will help me at break of day.

I don’t have to go anywhere to find refuge. My refuge is within me. And the place of refuge is not a cold rocky fortress, but it is a beautiful garden with flowing water. And I can bring that place of refuge to those around me who are living in fear of the future. Today I will walk by the living water in my front yard and meditate on the Living Water who dwells in me.

Longing to spill some Living Water on those I touch today as I walk my straight crooked path.

Living Water by Brandon Lake
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Py4HGFrmC9I
 

Mighty Creator is My Helm's Deep



Fleeing to the Mountain Fortress of Helm's Deep

 

 

Yesterday afternoon I was sitting in a coffee shop with three other ladies, waiting while our kids (in my case grandkids) participated in bluegrass music lessons. One of the ladies mentioned her fear for her kids as she looked at the events taking place both locally and around the world. Another said, “I stopped watching the news. My husband watches and keeps saying we are on the verge of an apocalypse.”

Fear is present, just below the surface, for many people whether they show it or not. Fear is also present in me. I don’t name it often – it sounds so faithless. What should we do with that fear?

So I am back again in Psalm 46. I think I am going to stay here for quite a while.

How can I “Relax and intimately know that I AM is Mighty Creator?” (Psalm 46:10 Jacki version)

Psalm 46 was written as a song to be sung by sopranos. The song starts out with people in trouble, big trouble - the earth giving way, mountains falling into the sea, waters roaring and foaming to the point of making the mountains quake. That is pretty bad. They need a refuge. To use a Lord of the Rings image – they need a Helm’s Deep.

¹ God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
² Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
³ though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging

I have been in the place where everything I have depended on, trusted in, has come crashing down. My expectations of self, career, family, even my relationship with God, have been crushed. It is a frightening, desperate place.

Where do we run when everything around us is in chaos?  The word for God in verse one is again, Elohim. God (Mighty Creator) is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” There it was again. “Let the power and protection of the Father give you courage. Let the forgiveness and cleansing of the Son give you peace. Let the indwelling of the Holy Spirit give you hope. I AM the Creator. I AM at the beginning and I AM at the end and I AM with you now.”

Mighty Creator is our Helm’s Deep and our strength. We don’t have to be strong. The King will be strong in us. Mighty Creator is totally available to help with an adversary, whether the adversary is people or situations or our own emotional distress. (Psalm 46:1, Jacki paraphrase)

My Mighty Creator makes places of refuge for me along my straight crooked path.

For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. According to alamoth. A song.

Psalm 46, written by the Sons of Korah, sung by a soprano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJmTdf0Ab_k

 

 

RELAX

 

 

 As I was trying to be still and listen this morning, the Bible verse, “Be still and know that I am God” was traipsing through my brain. I began to wonder what name for God is used in that verse. So, like the good teacher I am, I turned to Strong’s Concordance for the answer and look at what I found!

The word for God in Psalm 46:10 is, Elohim – Mighty Creator. Elohim is plural, Father, Son, Holy Spirit. God spoke into my heart, “Be still with ALL of ME. Let the power and protection of the Father give you courage. Let the forgiveness and cleansing of the Son give you peace. Let the indwelling of the Holy Spirit give you hope. I AM the Creator. I AM at the beginning and I AM at the end and I AM with you now.”

So what are the Hebrew words for the rest of the verse? The word for word translation is: Relax/sink down and know (the same word as Adam knew his wife) Mighty Creator.

I live in a gorgeous place. Everyday I get to ooh and aah at God’s marvelous creation. Today I choose to let my surroundings remind me that Elohim wants me to relax with Him.

 

Serendipitous gem: Psalm 46 was written by the Sons of Korah. When I googled Sons of Korah, I found a music group by that name. They have youtube videos. Take a listen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJ00rNoKhDE&list=PLZf6i4e0CqX_xiS7SozVom3uZ4bN3_1Vw&index=14

This one has Dutch subtitles for my Nederlandse vrienden.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nc5ZUndEDLg

Visions of Glenn Close

This morning’s wanderings are in the final words of the Lord’s Prayer. “Yours is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever.”

The first thing that always comes to my mind when I read these words is probably sacrilegious. It is of an old woman with too much vibrato in her voice screeching out those final high notes in the song "The Lord’s Prayer." But God altered this image for me this morning. I stood in the place of the old woman. There I was with arms stretched out, head to the sky, looking very much like Glenn Close in 101 Dalmatians, and I screeched out, “For MINE is the kingdom, and the power, and the gloooooory…”

How absurd is that?

Jewish ears would have heard the prayer of David in I Chronicles 29:11. “Yours, Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. Yours, Lord, is the kingdom; “

David was Israel’s mighty king. He was the great one. He wielded power. His son, Solomon’s reign was one of glory and majesty and splendor. Yet David knew that his kingdom and his son’s kingdom were only temporary. God is the true king. The kingdom is His. He is the great One who holds all power and glory and majesty and splendor.

So why end our prayers with this doxology so obviously connected to King David?  God knows He is great, so why does He want me to tell Him that He is? Is He in such need of affirmation?

This doxology is a reminder to me. God, Our Father, wants what is best for us. He knows what is best for us. He can do what is best for us. I need to remind myself that God is in charge. I can come to Him with my needs and He has the power to do something about them. But I also need to remind myself that it is HIS kingdom, HIS power, HIS glory – not mine.

I am an American. I am used to having a say in what laws get enacted. (Ours is the kingdom?) I am used to living in a powerful country. (Ours is the power?) I am used to living in a beautiful country. (Ours is the glory?) It is difficult for me to yield to anyone else’s authority. But when I do, He makes my crooked path straight.

Today I will choose to live as a loyal subject to my King. And what does my King want from me today. “He has shown you, O mortal, (Jacki) what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:8

Enjoying “The Lord’s Prayer” sung in Hindi and walking with the King today on the straight crooked path. 

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dg5wKPOBUKQ

Listening to the Father breathe

This morning, as I tried to be still before the Lord, I had an epiphany. I very rarely sit with the Lord just to be with Him. I almost always have an agenda. I want to hear from Him what I should do, or say. Or I want to know what He is going to do about a particular problem I have, and when He is going to do it. I come to Him seeking the experience of being with Him. I rarely come to Him just to be WITH Him.

Mark 3:14 says that Jesus chose the 12 to "be with Him." I love just being with my husband. I love just sitting quietly with him, or walking up the mountain with him, or lying in bed with him just listening to him breathe. There doesn't have to be an agenda.

My Father wants me to be with Him - to sit with Him without an agenda. How can I truly know Him and hear His voice if I am calling the shots? I get frustrated when I listen for an answer and He remains silent. I get frustrated when I feel that I need direction in order to stay on the straight path, and He is mum.

Maybe He doesn't want to talk about the things on my agenda. Maybe He doesn't want to tell me what to do. Maybe, just maybe, he wants to hold my hand and have me walk beside Him, listening to Him breathe, guided by the gentle nudge of His presence.

Maybe then I could hear His voice and not my own. Maybe my path would be straighter if I let Him lead.

Deliverance

I have never seen the movie, "Deliverance." I don't want to see the movie, "Deliverance." But I do like the song, "Dueling Banjos." And I do like the word deliverance.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gNuj8UkyC4 

When I pray, "deliver us from evil," what am I praying for? Usually I think about being delivered from bad circumstances. I want to be rescued. I want to be kept safe from harm. And usually I am thinking about physical things.

What I really need deliverance from is myself. I am my own worst enemy.

Just this past week I asked, "When will I ever stop hearing my father's voice in my head? There was a time when I was excited about my report card and I expected him to rejoice with me. He looked at my report card with all As and one B and said, "Next time that B won't be on there, will it?" It was never enough. There was always room for improvement. The goal was perfection, but perfection could never be reached.

When will I stop believing that it is never enough? When will I stop hearing my father's voice and instead hear my real Father's voice?

The enemy of my soul does not want me to hear the truth. He wants me to wallow in unmet expectations and defeat. He does not want me to rest in grace. He wants me to rely on my own righteousness. What a double edged sword that is. When I meet my expectations, I succumb to the sin of pride. When I don't meet my expectations, I either vow to do better next time or fall into the pit of despair. 

I stand in need of deliverance. I stand in need of grace.  I stand in need of being quiet before the Lord so that I can hear His voice saying, "Yes, you are not enough, but Jesus is. You are my beloved child. You did not chastise your children when they fell on their bottoms as they were learning to walk. You cheered every tiny success. Am I less of a parent than you? I do not sit in judgment when you try and fail. I cheer every tiny success."

"'Not by might, not by power, but by my Spirit,' says the Lord." Zechariah 4:6

Listening to my Father's voice. Walking the straight crooked path.

Where do I live?



gazebo outside my house

My home in Western North Carolina is the beautiful waiting room God has given me. It is beautiful, peaceful, and away from the crazy inside the beltway political thinking of D.C.

I have been thinking of it as a wonderful place to wait while God prepares us to return to Suriname. When we moved back to the US 11 years ago, I left my heart in Suriname with the Hindustani people. In my heart, Suriname, not the US, is my home. The sound of rain on a tin roof, the smells of curry and hot pepper, the sweet taste of mango fresh from my neighbor's tree (she said we could have anything that hung over into our yard), the musical sounds of many languages comingling on any given day... The ache is still very real. But my mountain home is a gorgeous place to wait.

This waiting room in Western North Carolina is also my place to wait for my real home. My true citizenship is in heaven. The world is my mission field. My mission is to see God's kingdom come, His will be done on earth as it is in heaven. And my mission is to be accomplished in the same way that Jesus accomplished his mission. My job is to love others into the kingdom.

A good friend of mine posted this on Facebook. "I don't mind people disagreeing with the President, but please do not resort to name calling...this is for my Bible-believing FB friends, "The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves." Romans 13:1-2

More than fear of judgment, my fear is that we lose our ability to share Christ with those of differing political views when we call names. Our president, the Congress, Democrats, Republicans- these are not my enemies. These are people created in the image of our Creator. No one ever came to Christ because they or the people they care about were first belittled by those who carry Christ's name.

The places in the world where Christianity is growing the fastest are the places where it is forbidden. I doubt seriously that Christians in Muslim countries spend a lot of energy calling names. They are busy calling on the One Name.

I need to be busy with kingdom work. When I am busy loving others, I don't have time to call names.

This morning I am grateful that my straight crooked path has led to this mountain waiting place. And I am praying for my friends in the D.C. area who have to fight harder than I do against the temptation to try to advance the kingdom of God in a way that is counter to the model Jesus has given us.